Through the eyes of the boy and girl, Miss Brill finds her sense of her own specialness punctured. Her beloved fur coat is actually shabby, not unlike the ermine torque. The climax of the story, the revelation to Miss Brill of how others see her, changes her. She can no longer delight in the small surprises that she waits for and thus manufactures for herself. When she presses it back into its box she commits the same sort of rejection of which she is herself a victim. No longer can she believe the illusions of inclusiveness and grandeur that always accompanied her on the way back and forth from the park every Sunday.
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It gave me a broader view of the novel. Hey, Jenny! Well, having read your essay, I can say that you have a very graceful writing style. You have a knack for finding just the right words to express an idea. Your concluding paragraph is evidence of this. Also, your succinct analyses of the author's use of POV are very admirable.
I didn't pick up on the whole "couples" and "pairs" and "twos" idea until now.
Now that I see it, I think that you are spot on! I did notice a few areas for improvement though. Maybe it's because I'm a structuring guy.
In a way, I think that I was knocked a bit off balence when reading your intro and first body paragraph. The second body paragraph had a lot more texual evidence thand the first body paragraph, in a way blurring the lines between the intro paragraph and the first body paragraph. In the first body paragraph, a lot of the sentences seem like assertions to me, rather than evidence to support the assertions made in the intro.
Not of course, that I disagree with what you say in the beginning of the first body paragraph- I totally agree! I had a bit of trouble isolating the "point" of the first body paragraph- it was at the end. While your analysis is excellent, perhaps you could structure your essay in a way that presents the analysis in clearly defined segments.
On a weird tangent, I notice that you use the phrase "it is evident" a few times in the intro and concluding paragraphs. Is this intentional? Just a thought. Great job, by the way. To begin off, I would like to say that your thesis was very strong. Very well done, Jenny! In addition, I am really impressed the word choice throughout your essay. Also, the way you integrated direct quotations from the short story into your essay is so effective.
A Literary Analysis of Katherine Mansfield's Miss Brill
These direct quotations flowed well into your essay. It really emphasizes the fact that Miss Brill is an actress in a real society. You went beyond and concluded that the performance must end, as all performances eventually do, and made it into the topic of your sentence paragraph. Jenny, you continued on to develop the paragraph well, giving specific examples from the short story that were never off-topic and were always worthy. Your analysis shows depth beyond the literal text itself. Your essay was really well done.
Elaboration would connect the readers more to Miss Brill if they knew why she was so isolated. You pointed out many, MANY, great ideas. Just a little more elaboration on them would make them even more outstanding.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading your essay. You brought up points that I never saw in the story, and I thought you analyzed them really well. Hey Jenny, Your essay is enjoyable to read and gives much more insight to Ms.
After reading your essay it allowed me to see the deeper meaning in her denial for loneliness. Your diction is also is impressive and makes me a little envious. It is difficult for me to comment on what need to be fixed, that has not been stated by others already. The first body paragraph is lacking textual evidence compared to the second paragraph. Over all however it is a great essay. Your second body paragraph gives strong evidence and allows me to realize and convince me that the pairs of people are stated to show the loneliness of Miss Brill.
Your last paragraph ties together well. Keep up the amazing work. Your essay was such a pleasure to read. You had total control over your use of vocabulary, and everything tied in nicely. I enjoyed your style because it flowed so well. I also found it interesting how you incorperated a quote into your thesis.